{"id":1898,"date":"2018-03-16T19:26:28","date_gmt":"2018-03-16T18:26:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/?p=1898"},"modified":"2026-06-19T17:28:04","modified_gmt":"2026-06-19T16:28:04","slug":"quel-maledetto-bisogno-di","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.silversnakemichelle.com\/en\/20180316\/that-damned-need-for\/","title":{"rendered":"That damned need for\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"brz-root__container brz-reset-all brz\">\n<section id=\"_bifenlucmytfrdzrgdrmknjqwqfopkklvzxg\" class=\"brz-section brz-css-wHGdn\">\n<div class=\"brz-section__content brz-section--boxed brz-css-ftB9Q brz-css-vFIkQ\" data-brz-custom-id=\"pvghiatpivbdjvltkhwsdgdvdwgbcoqhxwij\">\n<div class=\"brz-container brz-css-fSrX_\">\n<div id=\"\" class=\"brz-css-boJ4r brz-css-gUSDs brz-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"brz-image brz-css-dXtjC\" data-brz-custom-id=\"gszkufxokaijswkfwshsabvvzghttnezqfim\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"brz-img\" src=\"https:\/\/www.silversnakemichelle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/brizy\/imgs\/Silversnake-Michelle-Bulimic-Love-01-1170x780x0x27x1170x663x1579169980.jpg\" alt=\"\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"_npxnteoewhndkbohiyjluwbegbnfoylziika\" class=\"brz-section brz-css-wHGdn\">\n<div class=\"brz-section__content brz-section--boxed brz-css-ftB9Q brz-css-q392s\" data-brz-custom-id=\"vjfdbcahlsofbhzcdubgwoaepchwqehgfckb\">\n<div class=\"brz-container brz-css-fSrX_\">\n<div class=\"brz-row__container brz-css-mNn2f\" data-brz-custom-id=\"cqjzptgqldixiesczslrrganeaatbnofwgbp\">\n<div class=\"brz-bg\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"brz-row brz-css-cotnh brz-css-szQm2\">\n<div class=\"brz-columns brz-css-frGxq brz-css-fRMSd\" data-brz-custom-id=\"xyiemyokkhyrijssddrhvscgqpcddvwvyqzx\">\n<div class=\"brz-bg\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"brz-column__items brz-css-sAGkN brz-css-jlSLm\">\n<div id=\"\" class=\"brz-css-boJ4r brz-css-ra9OF brz-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"brz-rich-text brz-rich-text__custom brz-css-iVBAC\" data-brz-custom-id=\"ivequmzmnkzhzammbhpulmflwhbqtspqeitg\">\n<div data-brz-translate-text=\"1\">\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-dI_hL\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-ebpxm\" data-uniq-id=\"zptjf\"><em style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\">\u00ab Evil I\u2019ve often encountered in life; it was the strangled rivulet gurgling, it was the shriveling of parched leaves, it was the horse falling heavily. Good I have not known; except the wonder that reveals divine Indifference; it was the statue in the somnolence of noon, and the cloud, and the hawk flying high. Eugenio Montale (Italian poet). \u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"\" class=\"brz-css-boJ4r brz-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"brz-rich-text brz-rich-text__custom brz-css-iVBAC\" data-brz-custom-id=\"hbrqfzecivhvqynflelwwlhwgglonevirgrf\">\n<div data-brz-translate-text=\"1\">\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-k6Oo4\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-lvcaw\" data-uniq-id=\"iqpcw\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\">Yes, the evil of living, the boredom, the uneasiness, the anger, the loneliness, the frustration, the apathy. And that damn need to fill, fill, and fill, an insatiable void.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-oHCrq\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-zfxil\" data-uniq-id=\"wguvv\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\">That feeling of a lost love. The time that eludes us and the sense that is lost in the mess of differently similar days. That soul locked in a too small body to hold it. A body that, in moments of sadness, becomes heavy and redundant. A body that only needs to be hugged, but is being filled instead.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-l6Omg\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-iltge\" data-uniq-id=\"xzehy\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\">Filled to hide a too deep pain, that even you don't know what are the reasons for, and that you don't want to feel. So you fill. To satiate a love\u2019s need throbbing and relentless. And you fill again. Stuffing yourself to death. Food now is the solace, the shelter, the love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-woPwy\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-vowvd\" data-uniq-id=\"ijbcc\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\">You lose your control in that manic, obsessive, nervous behavior. Nothing new compared to other kinds of addiction.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-cY8T0\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-vowvd\" data-uniq-id=\"ijbcc\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-sRY4O\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-tkzcy\" data-uniq-id=\"ffhfi\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\">But you know\u2026 too much is too much. And so you feel awful. You begin to see your overly fat and deformed image. You feel guilty about that fragile and addicted behavior that you suddenly hate. The same food that used to comfort you so much, must now be purged from your body. Too much love equals obsession. You feel choked by the \u201ctoo much\u201d. And somehow you have to empty. But often emptying is not enough, you need to lash out toiling  yourself to death in the gym to exude that frustration.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-uDGqf\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-tkzcy\" data-uniq-id=\"ffhfi\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-y5ue8\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-jsdii\" data-uniq-id=\"bxukt\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\">After the physical emptiness, that pain you were trying to suppress, tears you up violently by reappearing in a bad way. Thus also comes anxiety, sometimes followed by panic attacks. It\u2019s a devastating sensation of \u201csomething\u2019s\u201d lack I can't define. A sensation of unfinished and scrappy. A hanging cadence. Death, madness, then everything passes\u2026 and to all this is to be added the fear of what has been, and that this may return.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-bEP8P\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-jsdii\" data-uniq-id=\"bxukt\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-iIJb9\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-zgbat\" data-uniq-id=\"rbsav\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\">Food, sex, booze, different ways of exorcising the fear of existence, the fear of not being loved, of not being enough, of not having get to the point in life. That judgment so harsh that we have of ourselves. (*)<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-l5rt0\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-zgbat\" data-uniq-id=\"rbsav\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-zSUme\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-ldufb\" data-uniq-id=\"ivtio\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\">Self-destructive behaviours, sometimes underestimated by society. That they are regarded as \"whims\" by those who have chosen to give up their sensibility, so as not to see or not to feel their evil of living.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-v_GmW\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-yemiq\" data-uniq-id=\"hjxmg\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\">You feel their rough and armored souls crushing your. Yes, because through you, they see their vulnerabilities, but not everyone has the bravery to open Pandora's box.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-zL7Tn\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-hfxna\" data-uniq-id=\"dwhxl\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\">I tell this simply because I want to live fully, with my flaws and my weaknesses.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-jOqxk\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-hfxna\" data-uniq-id=\"dwhxl\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-paragraph brz-css-iKMEK\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-ntrek\" data-uniq-id=\"kopmp\"><span style=\"opacity: 1\" class=\"brz-cp-color1\">I tell this to see myself and to try to live that emptiness too, without pushing it away or filling it in vain, with unnecessary surrogates. I just want to scream myself. Maybe this will help other souls too.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"\" class=\"brz-css-boJ4r brz-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"brz-rich-text brz-rich-text__custom brz-css-iVBAC\" data-brz-custom-id=\"fmpwlehdfhrpanjhrwvvstyhnclrromxxyiq\">\n<div data-brz-translate-text=\"1\">\n<h6 data-uniq-id=\"rsjdp\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-xlzvl\" class=\"brz-ff-montserrat brz-ft-google brz-fw-lg-700 brz-fw-sm-700 brz-fw-xs-700 brz-fs-lg-15 brz-fs-sm-14 brz-fs-xs-14 brz-tp-lg-heading6 brz-css-zuvBB\"><a class=\"link--external brz-cp-color1\" style=\"opacity: 1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.silversnakemichelle.com\/en\/foto\/#bulimic\" data-brz-link-type=\"external\">Link to photo gallery<\/a><\/h6>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"\" class=\"brz-css-boJ4r brz-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"brz-rich-text brz-rich-text__custom brz-css-iVBAC\" data-brz-custom-id=\"ywktszffqzsgvulnahzruovcuukqmuvimawl\">\n<div data-brz-translate-text=\"1\">\n<h6 data-generated-css=\"brz-css-txhuw\" data-uniq-id=\"lblcz\" class=\"brz-fs-xs-14 brz-fs-sm-14 brz-fs-lg-15 brz-fw-xs-700 brz-fw-sm-700 brz-fw-lg-700 brz-ft-google brz-ff-montserrat brz-tp-lg-heading6 brz-css-t7bX0\"><a class=\"link--external brz-cp-color1\" style=\"opacity: 1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Cif4fa4_yuk\" data-brz-link-type=\"external\" target=\"_blank\">Video THE EMPTY FULLNESS<\/a><\/h6>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<section id=\"_fnkimbstdwasdpbymirqpwnjqyaskhirysxy\" class=\"brz-section brz-css-wHGdn\">\n<div class=\"brz-section__content brz-section--boxed brz-css-ftB9Q brz-css-mJY2Q\" data-brz-custom-id=\"axbidbkfesjtiaksgtutmyqayxmrmkffquoh\">\n<div class=\"brz-container brz-css-fSrX_\">\n<div id=\"\" class=\"brz-css-boJ4r brz-css-gSkZd brz-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"brz-spacer brz-css-quKal brz-css-uNWT2\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"\" class=\"brz-css-boJ4r brz-wrapper\">\n<div class=\"brz-rich-text brz-rich-text__custom brz-css-iVBAC\" data-brz-custom-id=\"cierjmxmmhlszyjfecztqxfioiniqddijvfv\">\n<div data-brz-translate-text=\"1\">\n<p class=\"brz-tp-lg-empty brz-ff-muhufablbmfwyutintcbvtsryiyivbdbbhmy brz-ft-upload brz-fs-lg-16 brz-fss-lg-px brz-fw-lg-400 brz-ls-lg-m_0_5 brz-lh-lg-1_5 brz-tp-sm-empty brz-fs-sm-15 brz-fss-sm-px brz-fw-sm-400 brz-ls-sm-m_0_5 brz-lh-sm-1_4 brz-lh-xs-1_3 brz-tp-xs-empty brz-fs-xs-15 brz-fss-xs-px brz-fw-xs-400 brz-ls-xs-m_0_5 brz-css-nliPB\" data-generated-css=\"brz-css-lzkwe\" data-uniq-id=\"veirp\"><span class=\"brz-cp-color1 brz-span\" style=\"opacity: 1\"><em>(*)At first, the artist hopelessly follows her instincts and her needs, indulging them without emotions, just like snake's coldness. Then she quest for herself. She feels like having her soul \"stuck into body\". The void is so unbearable she decide to fill it with food, sex, alcohol, and the anger raise and with this anger she does not recognize anymore her mirror image. (from \"<\/em><\/span><a class=\"brz-cp-color1 link--external\" style=\"opacity: 1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.silversnakemichelle.com\/en\/her-snakeness\/\" data-brz-link-type=\"external\"><strong><em>Her Snakeness<\/em><\/strong><\/a><span class=\"brz-cp-color1 brz-span\" style=\"opacity: 1\"><em> \u2013 a Silversnake Michelle\u2019s album\").<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n<p>    <!-- version:1732652218 --><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00ab Spesso il male di vivere ho incontrato, era il rivo strozzato che gorgoglia, era l\u2019incartocciarsi della foglia riarsa, era il cavallo stramazzato. Bene non seppi, fuori del prodigio che schiude la divina Indifferenza: era la statua nella sonnolenza del meriggio, e la nuvola, e il falco alto levato. (Eugenio Montale) \u00bb Si, il male [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1888,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"brizy-blank-template.php","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":"","_wp_rev_ctl_limit":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[47,42,49,45,43,29,15,26,30,44,13],"class_list":["post-1898","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-talks","tag-bulimia","tag-bulimic","tag-disturbi-alimentari","tag-empty-fullness","tag-love","tag-message","tag-music","tag-my-way","tag-my-world","tag-need","tag-silversnake-michelle"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Quel maledetto bisogno di\u2026 - Silversnake Michelle<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Il male di vivere, la noia, il disagio, la rabbia, la solitudine, la frustrazione, l\u2019indifferenza, l&#039;amore. 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